There is a very plain word which describes this revolutionary new system I’ve been putting into place in my life. “Routine”. I know – it’s not very exciting and it doesn’t really seem revolutionary at all. The word occurred to me this morning as I was exercising. I thought “this is what normal people do all the time”. I’ve always seen the word “routine” as a bad word – as bad as the word “normal”. But here I am waking up at the same time every day to do my morning ritual, then scheduling my office and meal hours. I started on March first and it’s been two weeks now. The only one part of the daily plan that I have yet to implement is the 10pm “Relax” time. So far I have continued working each night until I was too tired to go on any longer and then finally put myself to bed. I think I’ll get around to the relaxing part eventually. (maybe once taxes are done) Routine. There is something peaceful about it – and something maddening as well. Surely the schedule is helping me make sense of the otherwise shapeless hours which make up my daily life. I’m feeling a little bit more in control – and I’ve been quite productive! Part of me wants to be constantly on the road where I have no control over the circumstances and timing, where the scenery changes each moment and there are new faces and names to learn each day. Part of me thrives in that environment. But there are other parts of me – parts that crave that elusive thing called “home”, parts that really want a routine, that enjoy having a little control. I am the constant balancing act of all these parts and my pendulum has been swinging in one direction for a very long time. Now I’m at the other extreme – the extreme called “normal” and (at least for now) I’m feeling quite at home.
(Day 1 of a five week long tour/ Month 2 of my “Happiness Project”)
I am a constant traveler but I don’t travel lightly. I carry God with me.
Today, once again, I am on the road and as I embark on this outer journey I am, as always, carving inward roads as well. The calendar and the map agree where this vehicle will deliver me each day. The route and the distance had been calculated before these wheels even began to roll.
I could go passively along, put my body in the seat and numb my mind with entertainment, news, or any mundane thing. I could use these captive hours of transport to keep busy – to stir the bees of ambition and let them buzz about their constant work. I could focus inwardly and mirror-gaze myself into hypnosis, for better or worse. I have done all of these things.
But I believe in change. I didn’t always, but I’m trying to keep believing that I can change. I’m practicing becoming who I am born to be. I am seeking answers in the pursuit of happiness. So I’m setting my intention for this tour (and from here forward) to draw nearer to God – to bring Him into my daily experience with mindfulness.
That is what I mean when I say I am carrying God with me. I do believe that God is always with and in and all around me. So, how do you carry the air? How do you bear the weight of God?
1) Pick Him up like a babe – Adore him.
(Worship just means paying attention – have you seen these autumn leaves?! Praise comes naturally.)
2) Put Him on like armor – Take courage, be strong and fearless, knowing all things are possible.
3) Drink His presence like medicine – Instead of whining or turning to the left and right seeking comfort in physical things, turn and look up.
4) Lift His words to the top of your mind – Elevate! Meditate! (Remember.)
5) Carry on a constant conversation – Pray like a river flowing always towards the source. (I love using The Divine Hours by Phyllis Tickle to keep me steady)
Like precious cargo, like a key in my pocket, like a torch, like a memory, like a tune, I am carrying God with me.